*wipes drool from chin*
Oh! Sorry. I just woke up from a long Indian summer's nap. That turkey gets me every year. ;-)
While I may not have written over the last eight days, I have continued forth in my Operation Eleanor journey. I've "crossed off" a few more items from my mental shelf. Funny... I feel incredibly raw and unsure about a few of them. Which is why I am not listing them here. Yet, anyway. Maybe after the dust settles and a few "scab" over.
Though my tales may not be grand and full of jaw-dropping "you did WHAT?!" when it comes to facing my fears, face them I did. I shone a burning, bright light on those little burdens of mine. Today, for I can only speak about today, I no longer feel like a rumbling volcano about to erupt.
Because I was close, dear one. I've lost so much of myself these past few years. Wandering aimlessly day in and day out. Eleanor gave me a starting point. Proving to myself that I can do it. Confidence that I can continue to do it.
For I gave myself a fearsfusion. Removed some of the concrete from my blood stream so that I could live my life a little better. With gratitude and grace, I can energetically move into 2012 knowing that it can be a better year. I can make that happen. Circumstance nor any other consequence nor person can get in the way of that. Unless I let them.
And? I may fall. If this month has proven anything, it has shown I know how to get back up.
I should note, I hadn't re-read any of my entries while doing Operation Eleanor. I wanted to allow those words to sit and then ponder my progress at the end.
As I've look back over these last 30 days, I feel mostly satisfied. I didn't get a lot of the closure I need (well I think I need?), but the fact that I addressed any of it at all is a big deal for me. For that, I am glad. At least it's out there and not swimming in my head.
I would be remiss if I didn't extend a huge THANK YOU to Megan Hook. The great mind that created this challenge. Just look at what she did over Thanksgiving!! The Universe owes this kid a solid. I know I do.
If you feel that you want to tidy up your innards and rid the weight of mentally shelved boxes, take this challenge. You don't have to do it on a blog for 30 days. Just as long as YOU know. It's your mental shelf/closet/McMansion of fears that you've been avoiding. Alleviate just one thing. Just one. Start there and see where it leads you. Ya just might be surprised. :-)