Looking back... (Days 23 thru 29)

Huh?

Whaa...??

*wipes drool from chin*

Oh! Sorry. I just woke up from a long Indian summer's nap.  That turkey gets me every year.  ;-) 

While I may not have written over the last eight days, I have continued forth in my Operation Eleanor journey.  I've "crossed off" a few more items from my mental shelf.  Funny... I feel incredibly raw and unsure about a few of them.  Which is why I am not listing them here.  Yet, anyway.  Maybe after the dust settles and a few "scab" over.

Though my tales may not be grand and full of jaw-dropping "you did WHAT?!" when it comes to facing my fears, face them I did.  I shone a burning, bright light on those little burdens of mine. Today, for I can only speak about today, I no longer feel like a rumbling volcano about to erupt.

Because I was close, dear one.  I've lost so much of myself these past few years. Wandering aimlessly day in and day out.  Eleanor gave me a starting point.  Proving to myself that I can do it.  Confidence that I can continue to do it.

For I gave myself a fearsfusion.  Removed some of the concrete from my blood stream so that I could live my life a little better.  With gratitude and grace, I can energetically move into 2012 knowing that it can be a better year.  I can make that happen.  Circumstance nor any other consequence nor person can get in the way of that.  Unless I let them.

And?  I may fall.  If this month has proven anything, it has shown I know how to get back up.

I should note, I hadn't re-read any of my entries while doing Operation Eleanor.  I wanted to allow those words to sit and then ponder my progress at the end. 

As I've look back over these last 30 days,  I feel mostly satisfied.  I didn't get a lot of the closure I need (well I think I need?), but the fact that I addressed any of it at all is a big deal for me.  For that, I am glad.  At least it's out there and not swimming in my head.   

I would be remiss if I didn't extend a huge THANK YOU to Megan Hook.  The great mind that created this challenge.  Just look at what she did over Thanksgiving!! The Universe owes this kid a solid.  I know I do.

If you feel that you want to tidy up your innards and rid the weight of mentally shelved boxes, take this challenge.  You don't have to do it on a blog for 30 days.  Just as long as YOU know.  It's your mental shelf/closet/McMansion of fears that you've been avoiding.  Alleviate just one thing.  Just one.  Start there and see where it leads you.  Ya just might be surprised.  :-)